Recently, my grandma who is nearly 80 years of age had a sudden illness which has drastically affected her quality of life. Both her physical and mental health have been impacted, and it is a difficult time for my family. Today I pushed myself on the treadmill to go a little further, as I thought about how she is not able to get outside or get on her treadmill at home to walk like she did only 2 months ago. She can’t use her body in the same way she could before, and she was healthier than most 79 year olds! While the situation is sad, it also makes me appreciate my own body that much more for what it allows me to do every day.

I’ve also been reflecting that because of her mental state has changed, I will likely never hear her ask me about how I am doing with my weight, or keeping up with the gym, or go shopping for clothes with her. I will miss the quality time with her that I will never get back, but I am also glad to not discuss those more difficult topics with her or feel like I have to justify how I am doing on my personal journey. However, she was always proud of me and confident that I could make healthier decisions even when I was uncomfortable sharing that information with her. She is a shadow of the grandma who I know and love, both physically and mentally, but I am still here and can live my life to its fullest to honor her!

-Kelli

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