I’ve had a bad couple of weeks. Despite my success, my initial enthusiasm is waning and I am afraid I may slowly give up.  I am still sticking to my eating plan, but I find myself less than scrupulous about writing down the amounts of everything I eat.  I’m also not measuring the way I was and am more likely to approximate the amount—even in my own kitchen where I can easily be exact. Exercise is also suffering. According to my plan, I am supposed to be at the gym 5 times a week.  I never miss my two training sessions but the other three visits have not materialized.  I usually go only 3 times. The scale is also not helping.  I know it is a fickle friend. That’s why I have been trying to focus more on accomplishing the goals I have total control of, but I realize now what a great motivator my consistent losses have been.

Last week I hit 218 and then the next day it went right back to 220! I was devastated and it took a week to get it back to 218. I know. I know. I started this post saying that I was slipping. Surely that is the reason for the lack of weight loss. But there was no way that my “slips” added up to the 7,000 extra calories that would equal a two pound gain. It seemed so unfair.

So now I’m at 216 and feeling somewhat better. However, those two weeks made me realize that my hold on all of these life changes is tenuous indeed.  So, I’m still scared. Scared I’ll give up just as I have so many times before. Scared I’ll start backsliding little by little. Scared I’ll rationalize all those tiny slips. You often read that it takes three months of consistent work to establish a new habit such as exercise. I now realize that, for me, it will probably take much longer.  My initial enthusiasm has often carried me this far. When it wanes, I crash and burn. 

Maybe I should start counting my three months from now. Three months of not wanting to go, but going anyway. Three months of not wanting to be vigilant about measuring and recording food, but doing it anyway.  Perhaps, it takes three difficult months to establish a habit—not the easy, breezy three months I have just experienced.

– Cheryl